The impending date is among us. It isn't a day that I actively try to remember, but one that embedded into my every thought. Conscious or unconscious.
It's really amazing how fast time flies by and how only certain events can remind you of this passing. Soon I will have been without as long as I was with which is an odd idea to wrap ones mind around. I'm not trying to be a downer or have self pity. I think its more of a recognition of thoughts and feelings I don't usually make myself or others aware of. It is a part of me as much as I don't want it to be and I'm not sure people understand that. It has made me who I am and who I will be. It is what has decided the rest of my life and how I respond to situations and events.
A musical is no longer a musical but something that causes involuntary tears when the first note is played. An odd obsession with death and ghosts develops, but no need to actually encounters. Seeing a scary movie or watching Ghost Hunters is more than entertainment but a connection that I once had.
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